You would never have guessed....

You would never have guessed what happened when I cut off all my fingers while cutting salami. My phone was ringing off the hook but I was too occupied with the salami. I didn't notice at first, as the machine was rather loud but I let it ring a few times through. It became obvious that no one was home, so with my sticky hands, I ran to the phone. I was in such a rush that I knocked over my Madre’s favourite picture of my great great great grandfather. At this point, I had become flustered trying to find the phone, I didn't remember that I had left it behind the couch pillow earlier when I was talking to Luigi, my Padre. I finally answered the phone, but it was too late; the other end was dead. I spotted my Ipod across the room and thought it would be a good idea to put some music on while working, as I believed it would make me work faster. Suddenly, I felt an uneasy feeling in my stomach. Could it have been a sign? I had become so easily distracted; I wasn’t getting my work done. Padre, being the aggressive man he is, was going to be very angry with me. I got right back to work and began cutting the salami. Suddenly, the meat cutter began making a strange noise, but I could not find where it was coming from. In the 10 years I have been cutting salami, I had never experienced this. I ignored the noise. A sudden urge to scratch my leg came over me, and as I looked down, I noticed blood drops on my shoes. My heart was racing. I looked at my hand and saw that it had turned blue. I panicked. I tried to turn of the machine but I couldn’t. I began to struggle and attempted to shut off the switch found on the left side of the machine. It wouldn’t turn off. My hand had become butchered! Then it hit me. I was overcome by this unstoppable craving for McDonalds. And with my fingers half off, the only thing I could think about was how I was possibly going to get there. And I swear to you, that is exactly how it all went down.